


Take Your Breath

by Emaleya



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adaar (Dragon Age) Backstory, Adaar family - Freeform, F/F, Gen, Time Travel, ensemble mention - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 13:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18829879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emaleya/pseuds/Emaleya
Summary: Inquisitor Miriam Adaar as a companion to Inquisitor Meraad Adaar, her older brother.She remembers becoming the Herald then the Inquisitor and now she's back to the beginning again but the world isn't resting on her shoulders.





	1. Chapter 1

Inquisitor Miriam Adaar had fallen out of the Fade and forgotten that an ancient darkspawn had enthralled Grey Warden Mages into sacrificing the Divine of the Southern Chantry in a mysterious ritual involving an even more ancient elvhen orb.

Then she'd nearly died from the magic caught in her left hand and then arrested for the murder of the Divine which she could not remember.

She met the best friend of a Champion and the betrayer of the elvhen gods (or alternatively, the rescuer of the enslaved and leader of the rebellion against immortals who had declared themselves gods) the same day that she had woken up, but she didn't know either at first. The second she didn't learn until years later.

She met a Hero's Lover who was also a Left Hand and a Master of Spies and a lover of music.

She met the Right Hand who was quick to judge but willing to admit mistakes.

And she met a former Templar attempting to quit his addiction while leading the military forces of a religious branch off.

She met the heiress of an old Antivan trading family that'd fallen on hard times, who was friends with the spy master despite her dislike for her methods, much preferring words to actual poison.

She met them and they insisted she help save the world.

They formed a new Inquisition and they asked her to be part of it.

She was far from home and there was a piece of the fade stuck in her hand, so she did.

She fixed the holes in the world and saved lives and traveled to a jeweled city to be rejected by the Chantry but also to meet new allies.

A message invited her to meet the Lady of Iron, Madame de Fer, who was professional and ambitious and could be trusted as long as you knew what benefited her the most.

An arrow shot at her feet led her to meeting a wild elvhen woman who liked to steal the pants off of strange guards just for the hilarity of watching them fight half nude. A woman who made it her job to empower the people who usually didn't have any. Who worked to steal power from people who misused theirs. A woman who hated cookies because they reminded her of small cruelties and how she was made to hate her heritage. A woman raised outside of her people's traditions and too scared of being rejected to try to learn them.

(Two years later Miriam married that elvhen woman and was so very prepared to spend the rest of their lives together.)

By a scenic lake she met a Warden who was not a Warden who wished more than anything to atone for his mistakes.

On a stormy coast she met a one-eyed Ben Hassrath who wasn't interested in trying to kill her for being born the way she was and to she was born to. A Ben Hassrath half way to becoming  Tal Vashoth because he cared too much for people and not enough for his orders. She liked to think she helped him learn that some orders should not be followed and being who he was didn't require rules from any outside source if he didn't want it to.

Miriam met the Grand Enchanter and leader of the mage rebellion and traveled a year into the future with the son of a Magister to defeat his mentor and free the mages from a badly done deal.

When the mages were kicked out of the country she invited them to join her inquisition, and they did. They were housed and employed and given more freedom and respect than they'd experienced before south of the Tevinter border.

How could she do anything less? Their freedom was hers as well.

The Magister's son came along side the mages and before long proved himself one of the sweetest, loyal and most earnest men she'd ever known and when his father proved to be less than what he deserved she was ready to adopt him as her own brother.

Together the largest rift was closed and the breach was stabilized and no longer threatened to devour the world as it once had.

A boy who was a spirit from the fade embodied warned them of an army.

Miriam rescued as many townspeople as she could and gained favour from her allies for her heroism.  She distracted a blighted dragon and an ancient darkspawn would-be god who tried to steal the mark from her hand. She drew the mountain down on herself when she saw that her friends had escaped.

And she survived and was hailed as a legend for doing so.

A elvhen not-god acting as an elvhen mage pointed her to a fortress so she could lead the people there and from there resist the attempts to destroy the world.

She was named the Inquisitor.

A Champion met her at the fortress and a Seeker had to be soothed.

She killed a dragon and was feted for it. She killed a dragon and it was magnificent and her archer laughed and laughed.

A demon army of enthralled Grey Wardens was broken loose by a physical walk through the fade, memories were retrieved and a Grey Warden was sacrificed to a demon of nightmares.

The Champion went on to help the Wardens in other ways in their own fortresses.

The surviving Grey Wardens were given the chance to gain atonement and vengeance with the inquisition.

And their forces grew.

Agents were recruited and influence increased.

She went to a palace and saved a beautiful genocidal Empress from assassination but helped split her power in three ways as she did so.

She danced with her girlfriend and ate tiny cakes.

She fought the Avvar god of war and winter and he was a dragon and it was incredible. She learned a shield that made attacks rebound.  She met the last Inquisitor and he was wonderful and she only had a crush on him in the most platonic admiring sense and she cried later for the end of his story.

She ventured into an ancient forest to keep an ancient artifact out of the hands of her enemy and ended up in the service of a goddess long thought dead.

She met the goddess after chasing a boy through a mirror and into the fade.

She fought a goddess' dragon and made her an ally.

The dragon helped them defeat an ancient blighted Magister.

She crushed him and threw him into the fade.

The Elvhen orb was broken.

The god of Rebellion disappeared.

Slowly things that she had patched together came undone.

Heroics became meddling

The mark on her hand was getting larger.

But there was still work to do and rifts to close.

Her spy mistress left to become the leader of the Chantry and she was both ruthless and forgiving in its reform.

Her friends left on their own missions but came back to her when needed.

Eventually she was summoned to the Winter Palace to see to the future of the Inquisition.

She was given a sending crystal so she could always be in contact with her dearest friend. She was given a title and the key to the great chains of the Kirkwall harbor. She was given advice on romance by a hopeless romantic and she was given a baffling spa treatment somehow involving cheese.

She prevented a Qunari invasion, married her wife and lost her left arm to the Dread Wolf and she found a new threat to the world.

The Inquisition was disbanded and she retired and only the closest and most trusted were allowed to help them prevent Fen Harel from tearing the veil apart.

Miriam slept with her wife most nights, her new arm a gift from a talented archanist left on the bedside table.


	2. Chapter 2

Miriam Woke Up

She woke up alone in her single bed in the small house her family lived in. She could hear the light wheezing snores of her twin sister in the other bed.

Her daggers were laid out on a clean cloth next to their oils.

Miriam's old staff, the one that looked like a spear and was lost in the explosion, leant against the wall.

Miriam had all of her feeling back in her left arm and only a phantom of the pain that remained even after the hand was lost.

Miriam woke up back at her home as though none of it had happened.

She woke up and she went outside and she looked to the south and watched as the breach was formed.

She trembled.

She was nearly sick.

Her Tama-Papa found her crying and pulled her into a silent hug.

Mara left to talk to the village patrol.

Mama prepared the town for a crisis. It might not reach them, but if it did they would be prepared.

But Tama-Papa made sure to continue on with the lessons begun. The children were rounded up and breakfasted and then Miriam taught the younger ones numbers through songs while Tama-Papa taught the older ones averages and means.

She remained for a couple hours and then another came to teach them geography, while Tama-Papa taught about the formation of mountains and rivers .

Miriam sought out her namesake and helped her on her rounds.

An elvhen woman still learning the kings-tongue after a life of only speaking Tevene when spoken to was due to give birth in two months. She was carrying well and not too tired and only needed to relax a little more. They taught her breathing exercises to practice.

Calving season was approaching and one of the druffalo was carrying twins.

Miriam had the longer reach and was asked to check on them.

She stripped down and  washed herself and her clothes in the pond after.

 

Mara confirmed her suspicions that evening when she commented that it looked to be above the location of the conclave that Meraad and the Valo Kas had been hired to work security.

Miriam asked Mama permission to leave the next day. She needed to know more, she needed to know how much of her dream was accurate. It felt like memory.

Was there a small inquisition based in the tiny town of Haven? Was there a blighted ancient Magister named Corypheus?

Was there a blonde freckled elf named Sera? and Altus named Dorian? a Ben Hassrath going by the name The Iron Bull.

Was there a Thom Reinier masquerading as a grey warden in Ferelden?

She didn't tell her Mama all of the questions she wanted answered, she just told her she needed to find more information, that the fade felt strange now, that she wanted to know what happened to her brother.

Mara agreed to stay behind and Miriam left the village on her own the following week.

Mama had made sure that she packed enough writing supplies to finish a novel and made her promise to report every couple weeks.

 

First Miriam went to the Storm Coast and used her memory and dreams and her knowledge of constellations to solve some puzzles.

Then she killed some spiders and slipped off of a ladder and found the coolest staff she's ever had.

With Templars running amok it'd be good to have a sword at her back.

Most wouldn't be able to tell that it was fed by her own magic and not enchanted.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Miriam made it to Ferelden she had no more doubts about the veracity of her dreams. At least in the large details.

By the time she reached Redcliffe the gates were closed and most of the mages had gone, so she moved on to the Crossroads.

There she learned about the Herald of Andraste.

There she was actually asked about the Herald of Andraste.

"He's one of those big Qunari folks, like you, you know him?"

"What's his name?"

"Dunno, everyone's just calling him Herald, or Inquisitor now, I guess."

"What's he look like?"

"Never saw him but he's tall and grey and he's got big horns."

She nodded and crossed her arms, "Well, that's a pretty common description of just about everyone of my race, so?"

"No need to get uppity about it, just asking."

She had a feeling she did know the Herald of Andraste.

News came that Haven had been overrun and that the Herald was dead.

Then that the Herald was alive.

It was a miracle.

She traveled north east.

She wanted to be away from people before she tried something.

There was evidence of the Inquisition already being there. Namely the occasional patrol and the lack of bandits.

Also there was an old cavern and an activated artifact.

She drew the fade in ways she'd never done in this world before.

She still had her skills.

She could still fight.

She made her way to the Inquisition camp north of the cave.

"Hello, my name is Miriam Adaar and I would like to send a letter to the Herald of Andraste"

The scouts gave each other stunned looks and took very little coaxing to agree.

She came back each day to check for a response but she also had other things to do.

First she had a good look at the dragon.

Then she retrieved some books and artifacts from a broken tower and killed some Templars and sold their armor and bought herself some better armor and a better staff.

She picked herbs and brewed potions for healing and manufactured fire resistant Vitaar. She came up with a suitably badass design for the Vitaar and wore it around to check its lasting power.

She kept the books protectively wrapped to prevent damage and left them with the inquisition camp.

She hunted rams for meat.

She solved a star puzzle.

She was told that the Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor Adaar was on his way with a small party to greet her.

 

Miriam just about got murdered when she saw him.

He came around the corner of the rock cliff into view and she couldn't help her self and just ran to him and jumped into his arms. He caught her in a close hug and swung her in a half circle to release some of her momentum.

The almost murder was because of the rather bigger than life Qunari, and he was still a Qunari and she'd need to remember that, who had slung his axe off of his back and prepared to intercept her. Fortunately he had paid attention and noticed the way Meraad, his boss had welcomed her.  Behind him, Sera had pulled out a bottle of something and then carefully pretended she just wanted to rearrange her things, and Cassandra had a hand on her sword and a frown on her forehead.

She'd certainly startled them.

She tucked her head into his shoulder, careful to keep her curling horns angled away from his chin.

He squeezed her tighter then pushed her away, "what are you doing here Miri?"

She smiled and shrugged, "Well, the veil is looking a bit shredded so it was decided that it would be a good idea to have a look around."

"Hey,  Boss, who's this?" Asked the Iron Bull.

"What, this the secret wife you weren't telling no one about?" asked Sera

Cassandra made a face at Sera but she still seemed eager for the answer.

Miriam gasped dramatically, "Meraad, I didn't know you had a secret wife. Why didn't you tell me?"

"She's a secret, remember?" he told her, she hooked her arm in his and leaned away from him making him holder her weight as he continued, "This is my little sister, Miriam. I'm sure that any rumours of our marriage are rather gross but most likely because we both go by Adaar, as a family name."

She nodded, "helps track lineages, since we don't have the Qunari breeding records."

That last bit made the Iron Bull look a little bit uncomfortable and she'd feel bad but he still mostly agreed with a philosophy that bred people for traits as though they were animals and not persons who might like to choose their bed partners. (Her mother had been clear on her reasons for leaving the Qun and this was one of them.)

"Miriam, this is the Iron Bull of the Bull's Chargers, we've hired them on as a more independent force."

He greeted her politely and winked with a tilt of his rack, but his eye was on Meraad.

"Nice to meet you, The Iron Bull."

"Ha!"The Iron bull turned to their companions, " See? She gets it, The is part of the name."

"This is Lady Cassandra Pentaghast, a Chantry Seeker and the Left hand of Divine Justinia."

"Cassandra is fine. Or Seeker. I prefer not to use my titles, they're a waste of time."

"I didn't tell her all of your names."

"Why would you?"

"Josephine, our diplomat," he clarified to Miriam, "made me memorize hers. As well as your titles and some of your history."

"A pleasure," she smiled.

"And this is Sera, she's a friend of Red Jenny. Don't ask who Jenny is."

"Ok,." she smiled at Sera.

Sera grinned, "Woof."

"Back at you."

"Pfft."

But Meraad decided to interrupt before Sera could get to know her any better.

"Why didn't you come to Skyhold, I sure it's easy enough to reach by now?" Meraad asked.

She grinned, "I know you were trying to solve everybody's problems since you're everyone saviour now, but you missed a small detail."

Her brother grimaced at her and pinched her ear, "Not a saviour, what are you talking about?'

Her cheeks hurt, "A dragon."

Meraad, surprisingly was not especially excited.

Cassandra seemed resigned, The Iron Bull and Sera? They were excited.

It was eventually decided that despite or because of her having more experience, officially, Cassandra would hang back near camp in case the dragon flew their way while Meraad, Miriam, Sera and The Iron Bull took her down.

The battle was epic.

Even Meraad got into it, though it was hard stepping back to let him lead when she was so used to being the one in charge.

The Iron Bull surely noticed but he didn't say anything, because he was too busy dirty talking the dragon.

With both Meraad and Sera as archers that left her and Bull as the melee fighters so at least if she wanted them going for different targets she'd just take what he wasn't swinging at.

Though apparently no one had clued in that she was a mage until she cast a shield spell on the three of them while the dragon was drawing them closer with her wings.

So that was fun.

Sera swore, and Miriam felt a bit bad for scaring her.

But if they were all going to be in one spot she was going to make sure they benefited.

When the dragon, the Ferelden Frostback, launched herself skyward to circle and bombard them with fireballs she called them all together as she ran to Meraad's side so she could try casting the reflective shield she'd learned in the Basin.

The good news was that it worked , the strange news was that it affected Meraad's mark in such a way that had had him hissing and shaking out his hand. She hadn't realized they were connected that way, she had been so used to any magic pulling the mark that she had thought it was a normal effect. Or maybe with the later pain she'd just forgotten.

The dragon landed,  and Miriam directly blocked the dragonlings going after her brother. He reassured her he was fine, flipped backwards and disappeared from sight so she ran up the cliff to distract the dragon from the way the Iron Bull was slashing through her right foreleg.

The fight was both easier and harder than she remembered. Her arms were sore from exertion and they were all a bit singed but it had taken less time she thought. Probably because they hadn't spent as much time running in circles  and their ranged fighters could whittle away at her.

She was also bruised from the way she'd fallen when she'd had to get out of the way when the dragon had almost fallen on her.

She propped herself up on her elbows to look at her companions.

Sera had let out a whoop and now had her hands braced on her knees as she caught her breath and giggled to herself.

The Iron Bull was puffing deep almost steaming breaths and grinning madly as he took a great triumphant look at the dragon's body laid out before them.

Meraad was picking his way over rocks and broken trees towards her.

She flopped down onto her back and grinned.

"I'm going to write home and tell Mama what you got us into," he said as he stood over her and offered her a hand.

She took it and he hauled her up, "not if I tell her first," she smiled and hooked their arms together. "You really think this inquisition business is less of a mess than a dragon?"

He gave her the point but, "I didn't get you involved in it, I can't believe Mama let you leave."

She shrugged, "you hadn't written, we didn't know if you were alive, and we needed to know what was happening."

He looked to the Iron Bull who may or may not have been listening to them, "I'm kind of a big deal here. I didn't want anyone finding home."

"They won't, I figured you had a spy problem, I'll send your letter with my next one. Now let's loot this thing and go get dinner."

They loot the dragon and Miriam conveniently wanders her way to an area north with a few chests of bits and ends before they head back to the Inquisition camp.

Cassandra is pretending that she hadn't been waiting anxiously for them at the top of the hill when they hike up to the camp so she's a little terse.

"Well?" she asks shortly.

"We got 'er" Miriam chirps from where she'd conned Meraad into carrying her on his back. Baby sister privileges. He's a pushover. He missed family.

"The dragon has been taken care of," Meraad reported calmly as he set Miriam down, "and we found a few more of those red Templars as well, cleared them out. There's an ocularum I want to get a look at tomorrow when we have more light. No serious injuries, we're just tired." and with a glint of mischief, "thank you for worrying though."

Cassandra scoffs, "I was not." and stomps back to the fire.

Miriam always enjoyed her food better after a good fight, even if it was overcooked Ferelden stew. Game meat and roast vegetables and as per Ferelden tradition, salt was a seasoning.

This time she came prepared for the food.

She put a small pinch of dried hot pepper onto her bowl and the one she'd taken for Meraad. She had a spoonful of her own stew in her mouth even as she handed Meraad his. Her brother's sheer delight at actual flavour in his meal was clearly visible when he took his first bite.

She offered some to the Iron Bull, "want some of the Family Adaar spice mix to bring your food back to life?"

Sera also seemed interested but Miriam first let her taste from her own bowl because she was not made for hot spice in her food.

She still took a larger than recommended taste, but she only coughed and clutched her chest for a minute.

"What even was that?"

Miriam grinned, "flavour."

"That wasn't flavour that was fire! I'm pretty sure that's what I've got in my bottles."


	4. Chapter 4

She warns him on their way back to Skyhold.

"There's some things I need to tell you. But only you. Camps and tents are too crowded."

"So we wait until Skyhold. My room is reasonably secure and certainly far away from everyone. We can speak near the fire to cover the noise. Someone left a lute in my room, so there's that too."

She gripped his arm and so it was.

Arriving at Skyhold was a little like coming home.

Home away from home, maybe.

It was safe feeling and familiar and it felt good to be there.

Though her shoulders tensed up when she saw how many repairs needed to be done, still.

She felt like she'd already fixed those.

"Bit of a fixer-upper, huh?"

Meraad hummed, "Well, I mean, it's a castle so I'm not going to complain at this point?"

"Everyone fits?"

"Mostly? You saw the army and refugees as we approached."

"I did, they're safe enough there. This is a good place. Even if it's origins are suspect."

He eyed her, "you know something?"

"I like architecture," she said for the benefit of their companions, "This place is a confusion of different ages."

He snorted, "yes, so I've been hearing. I keep finding notes on materials, and Josephine, our Ambassador is slowly working through what to do with the pieces that were obviously looted from our current prospective allies at some point in the past."

She and Meraad don't get to speak privately until after she's introduced to almost everyone.

 

The Advisors are first, because obviously. Also he'd written ahead so Josephine could write up her contract.

There rest she's introduced to so that no one feels left out, and because enough of them could see her arrive with him the slight would seem rather obvious.

Since he had written ahead Josephine is waiting at the gates with a couple pages to take her and Meraad's mounts so they could go to her office right away.

The Iron Bull, Sera and Cassandra go to the stables with them.

She and Meraad stay as Josephine welcomes her to Skyhold, and she responds politely and more genteelly than would be expected of her.

Meraad raises an eyebrow.  Josephine actually blushes when she bows slightly over her hand.

Josephine expresses their surprise at hearing that Meraad's sister was coming to join them.

"We don't usually speak about our family when we are away from home, Lady Montilyet. We work a dangerous profession that could lead to enemies and even beyond that we cannot always be certain that we're not speaking to a member of the Ben Hassrath tasked with routing out Tal Vashoth and their offspring."

"Please, call me Josphine, " she said as she lead them to her office.

Miriam caught Varric watching them pass.

Meraad gave him a wave.

Vivienne was likely watching from above as well, she didn't turn to look.

She kept her gaze firmly on Josephine's, attentive and polite.

Leliana and Cullen were waiting for them in Josephine's office and she was introduced to the Inquisition's Commander Cullen and Leliana, former Left Hand of the Divine and the Inquisition's head of Intelligence.

She smiled and shook hands politely, "I understand you've been doing your best to get my brother into more trouble than he can usually find on his own?"

Cullen spluttered, Josephine tittered, Leliana's eyes smiled and she responded, "He's proven himself to be what the Inquisition needs. We'd be lost without him. Hopefully with you here it will be much easier to keep him safe."

"Oh, safe? Unlikely, but I will keep him alive."

He cleared his throat, "I am actually right here?"

"And sometimes you will be running straight at the danger because that's the exact reason they gave you a title. I'll be right behind you. Telling you how much Mama would disapprove of our risk-taking."

Meraad sighed.

The contract was brought out.

The contract was negotiated.

She would need more independence than she had been offered.

And she deserved more pay.

She knew her worth and even though she didn't need the money she did need the acknowledgment.

She had full intentions of putting the money somewhere useful. A school or nursery for the refugees or some such. Importing proper healers.

But first her value had to be known.

"I'm aware that you are a for Prophet organization and not a for profit organization, but I will not sign a contract paying me less than I am actually worth." Meraad groaned, where he had been waiting by the fireplace, out of the way, "You are offering me ten percent less than I would have been paid working security for the conclave with the Valo Kas and here the risks are guaranteed to be much higher. Not to mention I will be providing more services than simple security."

Meraad supported her, "I trust her completely. Explicitly. Implicitly. To be brutally honest, I trust her more than I trust you. She should be given all the same security clearances that I am. If I could place her as my second, I would."

Josephine paused, "I understand, Inquisitor. I'll get it written up."

"Thank you, Lady Josephine," Miriam said sweetly. "Should I come by to go over things tomorrow?"

"Uh, yes. That would be fine."

She smiled, "Wonderful. I'll see about bringing snacks. Just in case we need to negotiate further."

"That shouldn't be necessary."

Later she hears from Meraad that while Josephine was frustrated by her stubbornness she also admired her for it.

Starting from Josephine's office they go to meet Varric first.

"Hey there, Inquisitor. I thought our recruiting days were done with the kid?"

"Well, I didn't ask, but she rather insisted. Varric Tethras, famous author and companion to the champion of Kirkwall, Bianca the badass crossbow, I'd like you to meet my little sister, Miriam Adaar."

She leaned on the table and shook his hand, "I gotta say, because I know Meraad wouldn't mention it, but a bunch of the Valo Kas are fans of yours. Or were. We'd sit around reading some of your serials out loud if we needed to pass the time."

"Well I am always happy to meet a fan. Sister, huh?"

"Oh, I doubt that, but thanks." She shrugged, "I take after my father."

Meeting Solas was more unnerving than she had anticipated.

Meraad was respectful and grateful for his help so far.

They were polite to each other. He was distant and dismissive.

She felt like her arm hurt and could feel her pulse in her throat.

She was also sad for him and mad at him for not thinking that she was a person.

Then it was up the stairs to Dorian's nook.

Meraad was slightly more enthusiastic with him, he actually seemed excited to share his family with Dorian.

"Now you'll have someone who can offer all those snappy comebacks you keep hoping for," he suggested.

Meraad would be the type to be mildly hurt instead of amused by Dorian's sharp tongue.

She offered her hand and made a comment about how her arrival doubled the average beauty, style and taste of the members of the inquisition.

He took the cue and was happy not to carry the burden on his own anymore.

Vivienne was cordial and curious as well as condescending and contemptuous. Alliteration was a good way to distance herself.

Cordial by default to someone so closely connected to power, curious about how she could be best utilized and why she'd been so hidden and condescending and contemptuous of her magic and her skills and knowledge.

She naturally didn't say most of that. She did remark about Meraad's secrecy about his family, and she commented about how unfortunate Miriam must have been not to have access to a Circle education.

She shrugged, "I do alright. Though I'm pretty excited about the library here."

Vivienne ended their introduction with the advice that Miriam should come to her if she wanted to ask anything. Since, you know, you can't rely on the knowledge of apostates or Tevinters.

Meraad led her down the stairs and picked up a bottle of wine and then though the kitchen, where they snagged a couple of baskets of bread and cheeses and preserved meats for their dinner. Then out the door and to the stables. He took the opportunity to give her a tour as they went.

"There's a very old library over there, I can't read half the books and I'm sort of scared to touch them. We're leaving it alone for a bit until we can bring some historians in to get a look and preserve them."

Then they were at the stables and he first introduced her to the bog unicorn.

"I still haven't decided on the right name for it."

"Princess? Sparkles? Buttercup? Poppy? Peony?"

"Sparkles doesn't work because Varric calls Dorian Sparkler, too similar. Why the flowers?"

"Because unicorn?"

"Sure," he tilted his head.

"Warden Blackwall, I'd like to introduce you to my sister, Miriam. Miriam, this is Blackwall, he's a Grey Warden. The only one we've been able to pin down, really."

Thom- Blackwall was a perfect gentleman as he took her hand. He expressed his surprise at Meraad having a sister.

"We don't mention our family when we're out with the Valo Kas. Never know when we might come across Ben Hassrath."

He looked to Meraad, "does she know about the Iron Bull."

Meraad nodded, "Yeah, she knows."

"Well, I guess there's at least one time you would know there's a Ben Hassrath." She acknowledged.

Blackwall chuckled and then excused himself to continue working on toys.

She asked Meraad if they had begun setting up a child care facility yet.

"I think we're still focused on getting all the medical stuff ready."

"Have you spoken with the doctor here?"

"Leeches and Humors, I know." he shuddered,  "I'm working on it. Still trying to figure out how to swing either a Tal Vashoth or a Tevinter healer without setting anybody off."

They wave at the Iron Bull as they head up the stairs in the Herald's Rest.

"That's his Lieutentant, Krem. Kremiscius Aclassi."

They reach the third floor.

"They don't know me. Why do I know them but they do not know me? The arm is fine, nothing happened, it's still there."

"Miriam, this is Cole. He's a spirit?"

"Seeing that's she's well is good." Cole says, "Trusting was enough but this is better. You know what it's like to be bright, but did you make the right decisions?"

"What do you think, Cole, did I?" she asked.

"You were loved and they were alive."

"You didn't change. You could have. Would you like that?"

"Keep me safe and keep me unbound. Varric would want me to be a person."

"You are a person."

"Yes, He says that."

"I'm not happy with Him."

"He hurt you, but he helped you. You trusted him. That's why it hurts so much."

"I know. and now he doesn't even know what he did so I can't be mad with him."

"Hurting him to stop him hurting you. It never works that way. Not unless they're killed."

Meraad sighed, "Please don't plot a murder in front of me."

"I don't want to do that yet, Cole. It was good to meet you."

"Again."

"Let me tell him first, hey?"

"There's kittens by the smithy. I'll show you later."

Meraad thanked him.

"I wasn't sure how you'd react to him. I know how Tama-Papa is about spirits and demons and Vivienne and Cassandra refuse to call him a spirit."

"He's a spirit of Compassion, he's not going to harm me as long as I make him aware of my boundaries."

They finally head to Meraad's rooms after he excuses himself from further duties.

"I would like to spend some time eating a quiet dinner and catching up with family things with my sister."

They settle by the fire place, "So, there was something you needed to tell me?"

"Pour the wine." she told him. "Meraad, three days before the explosion at the conclave I woke up three months after retiring from being the Inquisitor."

He handed her a glass. "That's some odd grammar there."

"They way I remember it, Brother dear,  is that I was at the conclave three years ago, I caught the elvhen orb, I got  the mark and ruined Corypheus' plans. I defeated him and his blighted dragon and I did everything I could to close the remaining rifts until the mark got too unstable and it had to be removed."

"Vivid dream. From before the explosion? There's been some odd time magic here and there."

"Yes, from Magister Alexius' project.  That's not this. That only worked after the explosion, not before it."

"But a spirit might still have tried-"

"Meraad, I know everyone here. They were my companions for years. Varric has invited Hawke to Skyhold and Cassandra is horrifically mad that he hid her from her. The Iron Bull is going to pass on an invitation to work with the Qunari in taking out a Tevinter ship. It's going to go bad and he'll need to choose between the Qun and his Chargers. He'll be Tal Vashoth if he saves his chargers but he needs help making the decision. Sera doesn't like cookies but she wants to because she's tired of cookies reminding her of how the woman who raised her made her feel like she was hated for being an elf. Dorian's father has sent a message to Giselle asking for the Inquisitor to meet a retainer at the tavern in Redcliffe, but it will be Magister Pavus himself. I took Dorian with me, they argued and then they eventually learned to make up. Magister Pavus had tried to change Dorian's sexual preferences by using blood magic on him."

"I'll keep an eye out for any of those?  I assume you're using them as proof?"

"And advice." She sighed, "I feel like everything I've done, all the pain I went through solving the world's messes has been completely pointless. Even if I'm not sure if there ever was any real pain or if I'm just... I don't know. Everything I've found so far is something I've remembered. I knew that dragon. My sword? From the storm coast, solved a couple of those star puzzles, and it was right where I expected it."

"You said you retired?"

"The Inquisition lost its welcome after a couple years. Ferelden and Orlais were embarrassed and threatened by the influential military on their borders. Military that was already well loved by the people."

That night Meraad offered only to keep her words in mind, it was clear that he did not yet believe her experiences.

She told him that Varric had called Hawke in to help the Inquisition and that Hawke was tracking missing Wardens with a Warden named Stroud. That the Wardens were all hearing the calling, the sign of the summation of their blight and had been duped by one of Corypheus' followers into summoning and binding that demon army that they'd learned of in the future Redcliffe. That she claimed that she left Fenris behind in order to protect him.

These things he could verify.

She told him that Cassandra would attack Varric for hiding Hawke.

"Of course she would. If he lied to her."

"He remains convinced that he saved Hawke's life by keeping her away from the Conclave."

"He may have."

 

The next day Meraad went out onto the battlements to meet the person Varric had brought in to help.

 

That afternoon Meraad found her in the library and pulled her up to his rooms.

"Hawke is here, as you said. Tell me everything."

She told him most things as well as she could remember.

They decided that some things needed to be done different but some things must stay the same.

She told him that she thought she may still be bound to Mythal despite never encountering the Well of Sorrows in this life.

They wondered how that would affect their mission to the temple of Mythal. If she would be recognized.

"Do you think I should head there now? I could warn them to prepare their defenses."

Meraad wasn't fond of that idea as it put her in too much risk. She would need to travel the forest alone for it to work.

"Maybe Cole?"

"I travel with three people. I know that's your preferred party as well. Solas?"

"Ho, shit, no."

And she told him how after the defeat of Corypheus he disappeared and they couldn't find them. That Leliana traced the village he claimed he was from and found only ancient ruins.

"It might have been his home town. He's much older than he looks."

He gestured, "Go on."

"What do you know about elvhen mythology."

"Several gods, Mythal is probably the most popular? Then there's the Dread Wolf that everyone swears about."

"He's the Dread Wolf. Fen being wolf Harel being either Dread or Rebel. The elvhen gods were called the Evanuris, they were actually powerful leaders with extremely powerful magic and they demanded obedience from their followers. Tevinter borrows a lot for elvhenan, basically. He was liberating the elves and fighting the Evanuris, so the rebel."

"Doesn't sound bad?" he tilted his head.

She put her hand on his shoulder, "Yeah, but listen, you know how there's a veil between the fade and the material world? That wasn't always there. He set it up in order to banish the Evanuris before they could kill more people. Except it also brought down the elvhen empire and basically lead to the ways elves live now. Like the whole second class citizens and the actually dying from old age things. Also not everyone is a mage now. And he regrets all this so he wants to tear it all back down again."

"I'm feeling uncomfortable about those elvhen relics he discovered that supposedly strengthen the veil.'

"I know, right?"

Meraad passed her a glass of some distilled liquor.

"I'm sure you realize that that would be a bad thing. Also? that orb that Corypheus is fucking around with?" Meraad tried to take the glass back when she swore, as if she'd let him,  "That was Solas' he gave it to Corypheus because he couldn't unlock its power on his own. He thought Corypheus would die in the explosion."

Meraad slammed his own glass and stood abruptly to pace. "So it's all his fault?"

She nodded and sipped, "This is all a really bad game of fetch for the dread wolf."

He paused, "Dog jokes, really?"

"We'd already fought together for over a year before he left. It was another two of minor worry before I found out. The mark, his mark, was so unstable by then I couldn't control it. It was eating away at my arm. Exploding. He took my arm midway to my elbow. But first, we spoke. He claimed to not be a monster. That he was sad that his actions would most certainly kill almost everyone. But he doesn't really view us a real people. We're like the tranquil to him, blind and incomplete."

"The tranquil are people and deserve respect and protection from abuse," Meraad growled.

"Yes, but if you had to choose between saving all of the tranquil and the chance of seeing our family?"

"Family is different. And this is the entirety of Thedas."

"Yes," she sighed, "It's still totally messed up. And his power is terrifying. He fought off a Qunari invasion, Meraad. Like actual Qunari. A Vidasala found out about him and wanted to overthrow southern Thedas in order to stop him. She thought we all worked for him. Many did. There were spies everywhere helping  him rebuild the elvhen empire."

"Because look how well that went last time."

She caught his arm, "Maybe this time we can convince him he's wrong? Or at least have a better handle on the spies?"


	5. Chapter 5

Jospehine had seemed confused when Miriam had made her request. Surely she had clothes.

"Yes, but everyone else has things they can wear at Skyhold, Meraad used to wear his pajamas everywhere."

"They were not pajamas."

"Yes they were. Sera has her silk and plaid clothes. Varric is just in his shirts. Even the Iron Bull removes layers of plate and he doesn't usually wear much on the field to begin with. I only have my armor and it's not the most comfortable, even if it was the best I could afford at the time. Please let me have my silk. I can make what I need myself."

She sounded skeptical, "And your ropes?"

"Traditional. And if I had more of the right type I could make armor. But the material is really hard to find this far south. Usually we end up trading for it from Tal Vashoth who want to break from traditional garb, but then it's not always in the best shape."

"I'm not objecting to your requests, they are hardly expensive and they're not even that much material and we can easily afford them even if you weren't offering to take them out of your pay. We could also simply order fully tailored clothes for you to wear."

She wrinkled her nose, "To match Meraad's? He looks great but I want to feel like home. Does that make sense?"

"So you'd prefer to make them?"

"I'm not making the pants, since you seemed confused, this is just the shirt and belt."

"It's not much."

"It's warm here" she took Josephine's hand between hers and squeezed in thanks, "and The Iron Bull wasn't exactly lying when he said going shirtless was a cultural thing. Horns are difficult to get around so we don't tend to use southern style shirts when we don't need to."

 

She finishes the clothes within a day of their arrival. It is very similar to the Antaam-Saar, just less rope. Only a few ropes around her collar instead of a plate made of weaved rope, just enough to stabilize the knotted silk scarf supporting her breasts, and then the knotting around her arms to act as both identifier and pockets. She tied a bastardized combination of sarebas and tamassran knots onto her arms.

Bull would probably hate it.

Or think she was just imitating without knowledge .

It would be interesting to see which.

The rest of the rope was tied as a belt and more pockets and ties for tools and bags.

It was also all purple and teal colours, because she liked them best. With gold threading on the scarf.

 

Meraad was jealous. It was pretty clear he was chafing at the clothes he was expected to relax in.

Josephine was a little scandalized, but also intrigued.

"You implied that you would be covered more than the Iron Bull," she complained.

"I am," she tilted her head, smiling with mischief, "you can see the Iron Bull's nipples."

Josephine shushed her and giggled.

Dorian admired the colours and commented that the look made him long for warmer weather. Perhaps a tropical beach and a couple of fruit filled drinks.

"Sangria on a beach in Antiva?" she suggested.

So they discussed that for a while.

"Do you really wear so little at home?"

"Depends on the weather. In the summer sometimes we pair it with a knee length wrapped skirt or we just tie some cloth on as a dress. Our men just wear the skirt."

"Sounds very distracting."

She grinned, "only for newcomers. You get used to it quickly, if everyone you know does it all the time."

"I'm not sure if that is better or worse."

She shrugged.

 

Vivienne was less than impressed.

She called it quaint and rustic.

Because it was inexpensive and unrefined and clearly not something made by a professional tailor.

 

Solas didn't care, she's not sure he even noticed. She only spoke with him because she was bringing everyone snacks that day. Hard boiled eggs soaked in salt and smoky tea and couple other flavours. She drew faces on them so she remembered who got what.

Blackwall mothered her a little, as did Cassandra, actually. Both wondered if she was not cold. She reassured them she wasn't, that this was normal and comfortable.

Sera woofed at her, and asked why she was dressing up. She told her that she preferred to dress this way when she wasn't working. Sera said she preferred it too because woof. Miriam grinned for the entire conversation, and for a few hours after.

 

The Iron Bull grunted at her.

 

* * *

 

"So, Lady Montilyet."

Josephine sighed, "You only call me that if you want something."

"I do," Miriam agreed sprawling over her desk "I do want to ask you something."

"I'm very busy, you know."

"You need a break, just a short one, I brought snacks."

"I shouldn't..."

"You should, brains need to pause sometimes to work better later."

"Alright, you may ask."

"Have the uniforms for the Winter ball been decided on yet?"

"We have a design but we haven't ordered them."

"Can I see?"

"I don't see why?" but she dug the picture out anyway.

"Well, I am going to the winter ball."

Jospehine handed the page over to her.

It was just as ugly as she remembered.

She grimaced at it, "I must ask. Who designed this?"

"We hired a designer in Val Royeaux to make the designs."

"Has this designer ever seen Meraad? Because this will look terrible on him. And the Bull. It will look ridiculous on them, it's designed to make narrow shoulders look wider. Both Meraad and The Bull, who you know he's going to bring because he wants another spy around, are going to look ridiculous in these. I might be able to work it. But not in that colour, give me a dark blue an a green sash and I could probably look dignified and heroic with a little effort. Though boots that length make my thighs look much wider than they actually are." She put the page down, "Josephine, we can't use this. The only one who will look decent will be Commander Cullen. You could manage the colours but it won't fit you well. Leliana has red hair, you don't make red heads wear crimson!"

"Alright, I get it. I wasn't very fond of them either, to be honest. But we are running out of time."

"Please Josephine, there must be someone here with the Inquisition with the skill as well as the taste to make a good uniform for the Winter Ball. At the very least the colour! Dark blue and a green to reference our scouts! Or make something that references Meraad's armor with the vest, tailed jacket and sash.  Change the scarf for a high collar or just tuck it neatly like the Orlesian fellows do."

"That could be simple enough. "

"Please. Josephine."


	6. Chapter 6

Miriam is sure she acted oddly when she was introduced to Solas, their 'Fade Expert'.

She supposed he didn't give them his full resume because he was grossly over qualified.

Also because all of the nonsense they were trying to fix was his fault in the first place.

Well, the magical nonsense they were trying to fix.

Fuck Orlais.

Don't say that out loud, but seriously.

He was polite but uninterested in getting to know her because she didn't have a hunk of his magic wedged in her hand and her being a mage only meant she was slightly more of a person than the average nug.

She tried to stay cheerful and chirpy so that she could just prop her left hand on her hp to hide the shaking.

It didn't hurt. It just felt like it did.

At least  this time she could leave talking to the Dread Wolf, freer of Slaves and stealer of arms and would be destroyer of the fucking Veil, to her brother.

 

Fuck, was he always this condescending.

 

She felt bad and helped him find his Wisdom friend, where she was bound on the exalted plains.

He didn't approve of her excuse that she prayed when he asked how she had figured out where the spirit was.

They got there sooner than when she was Inquisitor but it was still too late.

It had been too late the moment Wisdom had been bound.

He was likely surprised that she supported him when he tore through the mages responsible.

But not as surprised as she was when she understood what he said as his friend faded and died in his arms.

Guess she understood elvhen now.

Not just understood, it felt like it was being translated for her, like she could read the words of what he was saying while he said them.


	7. Chapter 7

Understanding elvhen without ever having studied it was something to explain.

"I had an awkward encounter with an ancient magical artifact, now I understand elvhen. I also might serve Mythal. It wasn't very clear?"

She said when Solas was not around.

Vivienne thought it was terribly ill advised of her to touch something she did not understand.

"It wasn't really a good situation, I didn't have any better options," not with Corypheus bound to reanimate and Morrigan pushing, they needed the Well as a key to the Eluvian.

She would have to look into that.

Perhaps she could approach the Temple on her own, she would be recognized as a servant of Mythal and could advise the guardians there.

Dorian agreed  with Vivienne that it was dangerous but he was also terribly curious about what it felt like, and if she'd had an actual encounter with the goddess.

"Like being in a crowded room inside my head while drowning. Would you believe  me if I told you I have reason to believe the elvhen gods weren't actually gods? Not in a 'the Chantry is right there is only one Maker' way. But like they were people who got too famous and powerful kind of way and legend built them bigger."

Sera thought she was weird and freaky and too friggin elfy and she's not even an elf.

"It was sort of an accident?"

"It's an accident or it's not, wierdy."

"I didn't know that this would happen?"

"Shouldn't have touched the thing then."

"Didn't really have a choice, we had to escape and it was the only way for us to leave."

"Ugh, fine. Stop looking like that. "

 

Varric just commented how her life was almost as weird as her brother's.

"Your life is stranger, Varric."

He wanted to deny but acknowledged the truth of the statement.

 

The Iron Bull was uncomfortable.

"Shit happens, The Iron Bull," she used his full chosen name, "it could have been worse."


	8. Chapter 8

Miriam was climbing the stairs to the Inquisitors room when she met Bull walkign down them.

"He's sleeping, let him rest," he told her.

Holy shit.

"The Bull, holy shit, Bull."

He looked concerned but she continued, this couldn't be kept in.

"If I'd been a little earlier you coulda told me he was a little tied up at the moment!"

He barked a laugh.

She nodded, "Right, I'm gonna do my sisterly duty and forget all about this."

She just about skidded down the stairs.

 

She sat down across from Dorian with her own bottle of something stronger than wine.

"Something wrong?" the wonderful man actually seemed concerned.

"Nope," she took a drink, "I am very happy for my brother."

"Are you now?"

"Yep. But I know too much about his love life already."

Another drink

"Love life?"

"Yep. "

Drink

Then she said, "did you know that he is absolutely terrible with locking doors? Has been since he was a kid. Very educational."

"Oh dear, did you catch him..."

"Not today happily, but I know things happened and I know enough about both parties to have an idea what happened and you are about to have to opportunity to be my best friend in the entire world by distracting me from this knowledge."

He laughed at her drama.

She pouted,

"Dorian, do us both a favour and tell me about yourself. "

 

* * *

 

 

Meraad sat still for her as she pulled out the colours and her brush.

"Did you want to match or should I get creative?" she asked.

It was just after dawn and the light was grey and white and they sat facing each other on the log used as a seat by the camp fire.

"Let's not match, dearest sister." Btu he sounded amused so mission accomplished.

She hummed, "What colour would you like? They're all the same mixture, because you know me and my colours."

He shrugged,  "Whatever you like, really."

She huffed at him and took some teal, "I am going to draw a curly mustache like Dorians on your face and you won't be able to complain because you said 'whatever you like, really'. like a doofus."

He grinned, eyes still closed, "I trust you."

She growled at him  and painted along his eyelids and across the bridge of his nose and to his temples like a thin mask of teal across his face.

Then a thin line of black to mimic eyeliner.

Then a line of blue circles down the center of his face.

Much better than the rough finger painted lines he usually used.

Also a complete break from tradition.

A vertical strip through his lips and she was done.

"You're good."

He checked his reflection in the mirror. "Interesting, I like it." he looked up at her, "your turn now."

She tilted her face up and closed her eyes, "violet, gold and a bit of black, if you please. And keep it symmetrical."

He uses the black on her eyes but the rest turns into a skeletal, purple tree with small gold flecks of spring leaves branching out on her forehead and across her cheekbones framing her eyes and a line splitting her lips.

It looked like Mythal's pattern.

Meraad does not know dalish tattoo patterns or their meanings.

"Why this?" she asked, turning her head in the mirror.

He shrugged, "Seemed right. Something wrong?"

"Not wrong," she told him, putting the mirror away, "just interesting, I'll tell you later."

Bull had finally ducked out of the Inquisitor's tent, she waves the cleaned brush at him, "want some help with your vitaar?"

He eyed them, "you just going to make up something?"

"It's what we do, Bull." she grinned,  "I can paint a dragon on your face, and head, make your horns look like wings. It'd be badass."

He's clearly tempted because Dragons and then Meraad gave him an encouraging look and he gave in, so she stands with the little jars and stands in front of him.

"What colours do you want?" she asks showing him the options, he's Tal Vashoth he has to choose for himself now. It's good to practice on the small things that can't hurt. He's used to the safety net of orders and tradition.

She paints the Ferelden Frostback in rust reds and browns and blacks with small gold highlights, her nose extending down his and her horns on his brow, the arch of her wings  are darkened to match the black of his horns and her tail is painted down the back of his neck.

They need to dig a second mirror out of Dorian's bag when she's done so that Bull can look at the full piece.  He seems impressed.

Dorian is also.

"I didn't know you were an artist."

She shook her head, "I can't paint shit on a flat surface with regular paints. But vitaar on skin? I got that."

"Well it's a definite improvement on the way they both looked before."

She grinned and sealed her bag, "I know, they were both messes."

"Much better to look at now."

"They clean up decently."

"Not as well as we do, though," he buffed his fingers on his robe and examined them in a perfect performance of nonchalance.

"Naturally," she nodded,  "and Meraad knows better than to mess up my face with sloppy work."


	9. Chapter 9

There are bits and pieces of giant statues all over the exalted plains an Miriam had never gotten an explanation why but that didn't stop her mind from running away with her as they approached a giant hand laying at the top of the hill.  
She took a breath as Meraad was marking it on his map for the scouts-  
And then the Iron Bull said "Anyone need a hand?" and laughed to himself.  
She snorted and Meraad's mouth twitched.  
Good he was too stressed.  
"I've gotta hand it to you, Bull. You don't let an opportunity pass. I was just about to comment about how it would be a handsome place for a picnic. "  
The Iron Bull laughed again, "You know I just can't put my finger on it but there's something about you I like."  
"I'm also a handy person to have around."  
"You do know how to handle a fight."  
She grinned, "you gotta admire the handicraft that went into carving that statue."  
Meraad sighed and turned his back towards them.  
"That's enough hand jokes," Seeker Cassandra stopped them before they could continue.


End file.
